Philomena Cunk is a comedy character created by Charlie Brooker and played by actress Diane Morgan on BBC programs such as Cunk on Christmas, Cunk on Britain, Chunk on Earth, Cunk on Life etc. Cunk programs are fundamentally comedy but with an undercurrent of deep satire about human society. And here, I list 25 instances of Cunk speaking deep truths about humans, society, and life!
1. How the religions spread – like memes but with lifestyle and clothing lines attached to them
(Cunk on Earth, Ep1: In the beginnings)
2. Castles were originally built by kings to protect their land and to sit it. Whereas, today, they are mainly used as extortionate wedding venues.
(Cunk on Britain Ep 1: Beginnings)
3. Is this painting actually good or it is good only because we’ve been told it’s good, like seafood
(Cunk on Earth Ep 2: FaithOff)
4. Our world changed forever as religious messages of tolerance and forgiveness inspired mankind to fight like rats in a shoe for hundred of years
(Cunk on Earth Ep 3: Renaissance)
5. You might think these (the African slaves) were precisely the people Rousseau had been talking about when said Mankind needed to throw off its chains. But they weren’t. Like many humanists he’d found a clever loophole. By not thinking of slaves as humans, he was free to not give a shit.
(Cunk on Earth Ep 3: Renaissance)
6. The barbaric practice of slavery was still prevalent in America, particularly in the southern states. But by finally thinking hard about the subject, the people of the northern states made a horrifying discovery that inside each slave was an actual human person.
(Cunk on Earth Ep 4: Rise of the machines)
7. Now Lincoln was president, at long last slavery was abolished and replaced with simple racial prejudice.
(Cunk on Earth Ep 4: Rise of the machines)
8. Instead of employing one person to slowly make a whole car on their own, Ford employed lots of people to do just one tiny bit of the car each over and over again. It was a revolution in workplace tedium and human meaninglessness.
(Cunk on Earth Ep 4: Rise of the machines)
9. In the early 20th century, social scientists discovered something incredible: that a woman could do anything a man could do, without the need to talk about it
(Cunk on Earth Ep 4: Rise of the machines)
10. Despite having no beliefs or ideology or hearts or souls, the killing machines were victorious. The final score was weaponry 20 million, Humanity nil
(Cunk on Earth Ep 4: Rise of the machines)
11. … how a cold war between east and west paved the way for rock and roll, which paved the way for countercultural hippies who paved the way for Steve Jobs to pave the way for computers and smartphones which paved the way for social media which would pave the way for undoing all the progress humankind has made so far
(Cunk on Earth Ep 4: Rise of the machines)
12. They (people) worked hard to get money to buy a car so that they could drive to the shops and buy more things, which they’d have to pay for by going back to work, which made them miserable. So they’d cheer themselves up by going out and buying more things, which they’d have to work to pay for.
(Cunk on Earth Ep 5: War(s) of the World(s))
13. Both Russia and America were building up huge stockpiles of nuclear weapons, enough to destroy the whole planet several times over, in case they missed the first time
(Cunk on Earth Ep 5: War(s) of the World(s))
14. This relationship with god throws up a lot of red flags. He’s watching us all the time. He sets up rules. He’s got a terrible temper. He even thinks he’s god. Isn’t he basically just a toxic narcissist!
(Cunk on life)
15. This (the moment of conception) is where, incredibly, the miracle of life begins and the precise moment that a woman’s right to choose ends.
(Cunk on life)
16. Death is the great leveller. In life, you might have been a billionaire, supermodel, president and king but the moment you die, you start rotting like a sausage in a lay-by.
(Cunk on life)
17. They (the people) simply don’t have the time to channel their pain into artistic expression because they are too busy working. And work is something we all learn to barely tolerate.
(Cunk on life)
18. Like Jesus, Father Christmas is used as a bribe to make children behave. Although in his case, the prize isn’t eternal salvation but presents. No wonder the moment Santa came on the scene, it was game over for Jesus.
(Cunk on Christmas)
19. Good children get lots of presents and so, it turns out, do the bad children. The only children that don’t get any presents are the poor children. Santa judges a child’s goodness based largely on parental income.
(Cunk on Christmas)
20. Even at the time of peace, men will still divide in two sides and try to beat one another (talking about The Christmas Truce 1914)
(Cunk on Christmas)
21. Today, everyone’s got their own little screen so they can ignore their immediate surroundings on an individual basis instead of as part of a collective effort
(Cunk on Christmas)
22. Election-day is your chance to do democracy. You don’t have to stand up and be counted. You can sit down and be ignored if you like because that’s your democratic right. You can choose not to matter and that matters if you want it to. It’s up to you.
(Moments of Wonder, 2015, Democracy)
23. He (Henry VIII) took back control, broke with Europe and made up a new religion, which, it turns out, is easier to do than popes like to pretend
(Cunk on Britain, Ep 1)
24. (During industrial revolution) Workers did long long thankless hours with no breaks and low pay in a squalid and threatening environment, conditions unthinkable today to anyone who is not a junior doctor
(Cunk on Britain, Ep 3)
25. Sometimes facts aren’t as important as something sounds.
(Cunk on Britain, Ep 5)